This post is dedicated to all the proverbial ‘square pegs’ who refuse to fit into ‘round holes’. To all those little ones who are labelled as ‘hyperactive,’ ‘disruptive,’ ‘restless,’ and even downright ‘adamant’! This post is also dedicated to all misfits who refuse to adhere and confine themselves into any of the specific categories that the society has created and so painstakingly maintained.
So who are these misfits I talk about?
They are the ones who go to the library when the others go for play. These misfits are the ones who prefer books to make-up/gossip/playing ball. They are the ones who do not sit still in class when told to do so. They are the ones who always ask questions in class. Misfits are the ones who always question what is told to them. They are also the ones who have utmost love and respect in their minds. But they have trouble kowtowing to authority just because it is expected. In short, they are the ones who are also called ‘energetic,’ ‘spirited,’ ‘enthusiastic,’ fiery,’ ‘animated,’ ‘headstrong,’ ‘strong willed’. Basically, someone with a mind of their own!
And why am I writing for the misfits?
I am writing this post to tell them that they are ALRIGHT. They may be different, but they aren’t wrong. To tell them that no matter what the world says, they have some of the best qualities a person can have!
So, what if they draw trees with blue leaves or question every instruction given to them? If they have their own ideas about how to go about a certain project? So what if they would rather prefer to do things their way and only their way? It is still their way of expression and it is, no doubt, beautiful!
A lot of times such misfits are shunned by the society, ditched by their friends – and punished by parents and teachers because they do not obey the people in authority. A lot of times these square pegs find it difficult to be taken seriously. They are the ones who are talked about behind their back, laughed on.
But what the society and in many cases, teachers and parents fail to understand is how really good it actually is!
Because really, being strong willed, means having a strong character. Such a child will never be afraid to stand up for his/her beliefs, even if it is to his/her own parent! Such a child, is clearly more perceptive, more sensitive and more observant than his/her peers. Their brain, their little body, their thoughts, their mind, is clearly working at a much faster rate than most of their peers. They clearly have more integrity and courage as they are not afraid to refuse to budge from their point of view.
And for us, the parents
So, what elders who have such children among them need to know, is that no matter how difficult it may seem, having a child who refuses to accept or believe something just because an adult has said it, is actually a blessing in disguise! And that punishing such behaviour, giving these children time-out for such a reason, will only end up breaking their spirit. It will make them meek and docile. But more than that, it will teach them that what they are born with (the capability to stand up for themselves) is actually wrong! And we don’t want that, do we?
So when parents feel overwhelmed that their children aren’t listening to them, it makes sense to take a step back and think. Seriously, is really so bad? After all, every parent wants to raise independent, responsible children who are happy to face the world and write their own destiny. And we cannot achieve that by punishing our children for speaking their mind.
So what do we do?
Give in to their every demand? No. certainly not. Just like we choose our battles, we tell them to choose their priorities. We speak to them. Nicely. Have a good rapport with our children. We become their ‘buddies’ – in every sense of the term. So much so, that they shouldn’t be afraid to come to us and tell us even when they have made a mistake! Basically, we parents need to choose our battles in the larger interest of ‘being there’ for our children when they really need us. It is important for parents to show their children that they are special, to acknowledge and accept them.
By being energetic, strong willed, adamant and refusing to fit into society’s ‘round holes,’ these ‘square pegs’ are already showing some of the best qualities a person can have. It is now up to parents to harness these qualities to the best of their abilities!
Featured Image: https://flic.kr/p/6pmtQL