Well this is my story, the story in many homes probably.
My MIL has 2 sons. The elder one happens to be my hubby. She’s brought them both up in a good way. My bil being the younger one was pampered to the core as a child, and even today he is. Both by my FIL and MIL. He is spoon fed, even after he’s married. His wife, my co-sister, never minds this attention and pampering he gets. In fact she takes advantage of it herself.
But I’m not like that. I always thought it was my responsibility to look after my husband once we were married. And I didn’t known to that men like my BIL were called “Mamma’s Boys”.
Mine was a love-cum-arranged marriage and so was brother-in-law’s. That is were the similarity ends. My brother-in-law, got married at an early age when he was not much settled in life. He wasn’t very sure about his future or what is he going to be 10 years down the lane.
On the other hand, my hubby was (and continues to be) a very hard working man. He has always faced difficulties and things were never easy for him no matter where he went. But he has the grit to get through the situation and I am one proud wife.
Coming to the daughters-in-law, I completed my graduation and studied further before I got into corporate world. Along the way, I got married,had a baby and such. Probably, the ideal daughter-in-law. But wait, I am actually not. The problem is that I’m not at all diplomatic. I am too straight forward and I just don’t believe in back-biting. This wasn’t taken well by my family. They all blamed my mother. Seriously, I mean, grow up..
Fast forward 3 years, the new daughter-in-law of the home arrives and she’s just the opposite of me. She is very polished and diplomatic in all ways. We all welcomed her with an open heart, at least I did.
Since I was a stay-at-home mom by then, the morning kitchen responsibilities was mine, with help from MIL and co-sister of course. I used to pack her lunch box even with all the love, just like I would do for my sister. I longed for one, since i was a single child. But I could not see the same reciprocated from her.
Was I expecting too much or was she practical? I never got an answer to my question. I continued to fulfill my duties, yet I was not preferred just because I was too straight forward.
My FIL is a principled man, very good at heart and he’s been more than a father to me. He used to pick me up from my workplace when I was pregnant as his workplace was close to mine. We share a very good rapport. My MIL while is very good at heart, sometimes she feels that she has lost her hold on her sons since the arrival of daughters-in-law. She prefers my co-sister many a times just because she gives her more importance and makes her feel important.. But I never want to compete, and I believe neither does my co-sister.
Relationships and Realties
But why does such relationships need to have preference and comparisons. Each relationship is different and so is each person, his/her approach towards life and other people in their life. But after almost 10 years of being married, my co-sister still remains the favourite in many aspects. I’m happy the way I’m. I don’t want to change my life’s philosophy for anybody. I want my son to grow up in a non-comparative family.
Well, may be again I’m expecting too much, time will tell.
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